Visitation and Residential Time

Written by divorce and family lawyers with the Crone & Mason, plc Family Law Practice Group, our attorneys provide details of Tennessee divorce and other family law issues including answers to many frequently asked questions. Offices serving Nashville and Memphis Tennessee and surrounding area. Copyright, Crone & Mason, plc, 2007.

From a lawyer divorce Memphis

As of January 1, 2001, Tennessee has the new Parenting Plan Law, which eliminated the term "visitation" in favor of the terms "residential time" or "parenting time." "Residential time," like "visitation," commonly means that time the child is with a parent during the day and overnight. Because "visitation" is more of a descriptive term than legal term, expect to hear "visitation" for a few more years, in addition to the technically correct legal terms.

Why do separated parents fight so often over visitation? Rarely are the fights really about visitation. Often, one parent is looking for an opportunity to spite the other or exert some type of control. Separated parents who are able to work together do not appreciate the pain and suffering they are able to avoid compared to those separated parents who do not cooperate. Disputes over residential time can be the most emotionally taxing fights any former couple may have. Tension builds. Tempers flare. All of a sudden, the former couple is back into their routine they both believed they had left behind, and the children are the victims.

What can judges do? Because judges have heard so many frivolous visitation arguments, they have moved toward requiring much more detailed arrangements. The new law also requires most arguing parents to head to mediation prior to bringing a dispute into court first. Working out the details of parenting in advance costs less in the long run, both financially and emotionally. Few things in life are more painful than filing a petition with the court two years after a divorce to re-work a poorly planned visitation agreement and going through the trouble of creating a new parenting plan.

Working out the details in advance requires communication and trust. During the divorce, communication and trust can be very lofty goals. The parents must come together for the best interests of the children. Fortunately, attending the parenting class now mandated by the law and working with an experienced family lawyer can help. Having coached clients through this process many times before, your family lawyer can suggest helpful and unique parenting terms for some of the most difficult problems.

A parent living far apart from the children presents unique problems. Normal visitation schedules are impossible. Transportation costs become an important factor. (See the child support section.) How many weeks of visitation will there be in the summer? During Christmas? Spring break? How many visits will be allowed if the parent travels to the children? Are travel days counted in the number of days allowed? Almost every possible visitation arrangement will require both parents to compromise.

Outside of the regularly scheduled visitation, when may a primary residential parent deny visitation? A visitation request should not be denied unless the request is unreasonable. Common sense should help guide both parents. Visitation should not last until very late on a school night. Visitation should not require children to regularly wake up extremely early, cause them to miss important school or extracurricular activities, or otherwise interfere with a normal upbringing. Generally, such limitations are fairly logical. If litigated, limitations on visitation may depend on the values of your judge. Like most things in family law, what is "reasonable visitation" depends upon the facts and circumstances of each situation.

Some advice to the future primary residential parent: be flexible with visitation. In the perspective of the children, the absent parent can become the perfect parent. Understand that if the other parent is a complete loser, the children will learn this fact soon enough for themselves. Even if the other parent is obnoxious and does not appreciate your efforts, work as hard as you can for the children's sake. Also, remember that you do not want to go to court to argue about residential time issues. Rarely do the dollars you spend litigating pay off in the long run, except to prove a point. Also, think of the other parent's residential time as free baby-sitting. Take advantage of the time alone. Go on a date. Have fun. Read a book. Enjoy some quiet time. Finally, the parent paying child support who regularly spends time with the children is more likely to pay the child support on time.

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Crone & Mason plc Attorneys at Law
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